a love/hate relationship

waving the white flag

As a freelancer, I find money to be tight most of the time. I quit my job as a legal assistant in the summer of 2009 to fully pursue freelance writing. I’ve gained a few gigs since then, but it seems that my finances are dwindling down to the wire.

So I’ve faced the music and decided it’s time to get a job. Even if I have to be an assistant again. Even if I’m an assistant in a place that offers me no upward mobility. Even if I’m making a measly hourly wage. It must be done.

And now I’m raising the white flag, waving it around in hopes to find a crappy, meaningless, bill-paying job. I would actually be happy waking up at 7 a.m., making lunch, getting to work, having tasks to complete, having people to talk to, and earning a paycheck. One where the employer takes out taxes and I might be eligible for a tax refund next year.

Oh, because this year I think I owe the government. Freelancing, such a hard, scary, sexy bitch of a job.

Monkey, you are not alone!

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2 responses

  1. lp3000

    Don’t ask how I found this… blog surfing… but you’re story is very similar to mine. I know how you feel!

    After graduating, I worked at an 8 to 5 job in Dallas doing data entry for a directory book publishing company. It was mind-numbing, the commute was awful and I just hated it.

    I quit and managed to get enough freelance work that I stayed afloat for 3 months. At the time, I thought it was the best three months of my life (no job, no boss…yeah) but towards the end it was just…out of control. I wasn’t making enough money to save, i was barely scraping by, I was freaking out about how much I would owe in taxes and my ego was taking a hard hit every day.

    After having what could only be termed as a full-on no joke nervous breakdown for three days straight, I decided to get a job and then had another breakdown over that decision. I felt I was being a whiner or giving up too easily, etc. I especially felt this way because my boyfriend whom I live with is a freelance drummer and still has not had to find a job.

    But I sucked it up, looked for jobs and managed to find a perfect job at a local library shelving books. Now that money is secure, my writing has gone on to new levels and I’m working harder than ever. I also still freelance… of course when I don’t need the work, then a bunch of work gets thrown your way.

    So go for that job! Go for one you like! The world can be very serendipitous sometimes.

    February 16, 2010 at 11:23 am

  2. charles

    Serendipity. What a presumptuous word. The world has sculpted my mind into this austere conundrum. In other words, my passion for writing doesn’t pay and my daily jobs make my stomach hurt. Any suggestions?

    March 16, 2011 at 2:10 am

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